Pick up Tips February 1, 2018 – Posted in: Industry Telegram, News
The art of picking someone up for sex is something that a lot of people tend to get wrong. There are plenty of books about pick-up artistry out there. In fact, there are even websites and seminars. While these are all well and good (for the most part), a lot of them employ techniques and tactics that verge on a dangerously manipulative art form which can sometimes be considered psychological rape.
Picking someone up isn’t about manipulating them. It is about finding out what they’re interested in and whether or not your interests match. Single men and women who go to bars separately are usually looking to meet people: either for a one night stand or for a relationship. This is why it is important to be able to determine the kind of signals a person is sending.
For Men: Determine If She’s Interested
As with anyone you are talking to, make sure that you are certain the lady in question is even interested. If she seems a bit aloof then it is usually best to leave her alone or slowly back off. Women who are engaging and who look at you with interest are the ones that you should be chatting up.
Make sure not to talk about sex straight away! This is what flirting is for: disguised “well, maybe we could…” sentences is the best way to determine if someone is interested. Unfortunately, people are not a computer program that you can easily decipher. They are a lot more complicated than that, so you need to remember that each situation is different. This is where we would advise that you listen to the lady in question and see if the two of you do match up!
For Women: Remember to Stay Safe
We hate to say it, but there are a lot of horrible people out there who specifically target women. Fortunately, they are in the minority, but even then you need to make sure that the person you could potentially be hopping into bed with is at least good to spend a few hours with. Throughout the course of the conversation, make sure that the man is listening to you and paying attention. See how he treats other women as well: sure, he may be flirting with multiple people at once. That’s fine, however if he does it courtesy and respect (which you should show to everyone), then you’re onto a winner.
See how he treats other men as well. Other men may be the “competition”, so to speak, however, it doesn’t mean that a man should act aggressively towards them.
The dance of flirting and picking someone up can be complicated but it is also a lot of fun. Ultimately, it is important for both genders to make sure that they treat one another with respect. Another highly important point to keep in mind is this: understand no! If the answer is no, then take it as it is given and simply move on to your next potential flirt.