A Gentleman Friendly Guide to Eating Raw July 27, 2016 – Posted in: Industry Telegram
Attention Gentleman of the South! The day you admit there is no time for beating around the bush when it comes to eating good pussy is the day you will join the elite. If you are Gentleman enough to admit you are already a slave to her majesty Ol’ Salty now is the time to brush up on your table manners, become a royal subject to be reckoned with. A true man of the cloth for where there is method there is melody. Realize this guide to the number and you shall have more followers than the Pied Piper, more bedroom conversations than a mattress salesman in Wagga Wagga for in the same way that Italians take enormous pride in eating pasta in the correct and traditional way, there are most certainly Gentleman do’s and don’t’s, faux pas and more importantly tricks of the trade when it comes to dining in at the lap of Venus.
Every man knows how to park his wagon but can you turn on a six pence? That is what will separate you from the everyday Joe. When you show active appreciation for a woman’s cuisine she will put you on a pedestal and keep your talent a guarded secret so before you learn to eat pasta like an Italian first try to eat pussy like a true Gent? An Italian never takes a spoon to battle. Hold eye contact while you lose the shirt, take a minute to fold your pants along the crease, remove shoes and socks until all that is left is the union of skin on skin. Become the master of your own universe.
An Italian knows from birth to pair pasta with the right topping. Engage the use of alcohol-free mouthwash, wear an aftershave that is not overpowering and as they say the world will become your oyster but please be vocal, communicate your desires, let your Princess know she is the only beauty in the entire Kingdom! Do not be shy to whet your appetite and never go hungry for this is your time to shine! Even in the steamy taverns of Bologna you can find a tortellini dripping in sauce.
As you can probably imagine technique is everything, so tease her most intimate areas starting with the inner thigh, an incredibly tender spot. Make her wait and make her think. You are a Gentleman so be gentle, move inwards kissing softly and then harder as she emits tiny moans of guilt free pleasure, a crime of love. Without warning flick your tongue like a lizard and repeat. If your value your life at this point do not stop until you have drawn your very last breath. And repeat. A good Italian understands that pasta is eaten alone, does not play second fiddle, cannot play understudy to the main attraction. Pasta is eaten first the salad second and never together. In this case we could bend the rules slightly. Without diverting your attention from the main course ritual, slide two fingers deep inside her executing control of her mind & body while continuing both actions in tandem. A woman can remain fully aroused for one hour past her first orgasm so meet the challenge head on. Completing a task is not enough. Finish in style with aplomb. Spoon twirling is rare though who doesn’t enjoy Angel hair taken with light broth.
After every great meal follows an ever more sublime, epic serve of dessert. When you bring your A-game it may be that the second course eclipses the entrée? At Sydney’s Morrison Bar & Oyster Room greatness will be a daily ceremony during the Sydney Oyster Festival August 1– 31. The Morrison invites you to attend a luxury celebration of locally grown, coast to coast, bi-valve bounty. Come and join the party fabulous, roll a succulent Australian oyster around your tongue, sip on a chilled glass of champagne and rediscover the rush of the good life where a good experience is usually a raw experience.
Welcome to Oyster Festival 2016