I Don’t Like My Daughter’s Boyfriend: What Do I Do? September 10, 2018 – Posted in: News
First off, take a deep breath and exhale: you’re neither the first nor the last parent to have a pathological hate for your girl’s boyfriend. The question that you should ask yourself is “Is my dislike justified?”
That’s the very first step in understanding why you just can’t shake the feeling that he’s a bum and he’ll hurt your precious daughter. There are other things you can do, too, in order to come to terms with this issue and solve it.
Assess Whether You Project Your Own Failures or Not
Were you hurt by multiple partners in your life? Were you in an abusive relationship? If yes, you might think, subconsciously, that your girl’s boyfriend will behave like your ex / partner.
This is unhealthy for both you and your daughter. Do not project your own failures and fears into her. Moreover, you should realise that we don’t have all that much control over a lot of things and that she will always choose the one she likes, not the one you like.
Analyse Their Relationship
Is your daughter always happy and feels protected? Then you might be overreacting. If you dislike him, this doesn’t mean he’s not a genuinely caring guy that loves your daughter and wants to provide for her.As much as you’d like to think that you’re right when you say that he’s only interested in taking her panties off and that’s it, he might actually prove you wrong. If he makes her happy, cares for her and always puts a smile on her face but you still can’t stand him, then the problem is you, not him.
Your Expectations Are Too High
Do you disapprove of him because you expected him to have a lot to prove? In this case, he might not want to prove you anything because
1) he’s not willing to play your childish game and
2) he feels like the only person he needs to prove something to is your daughter
We’re sorry to burst your bubble, but he’d get our vote. It’s completely normal to want your daughter to marry a man that has a good career, a steady income, and a house – but don’t create unrealistic traits in your head.
Get to Know Him
The best way to see whether he’s a son of a gun or not is to talk to him. He might dispel all your fears within 15 minutes. Hating somebody you know nothing about is really pathetic. Talk things over and ask all the right questions, without attacking him.
I know that parents can make mountains out of molehills because my girlfriend’s parents hate my guts in spite of me being a conscientious, caring and understanding man.
The worst thing you can do is make your daughter a receptacle for all your fears and anxieties, as well as pushing her boyfriend away when he actually loves her and is ready to change his life around for her. Just give him a chance, yeah?