In 1987, Eddie Murphy released Raw, one of his greatest stand up comedy acts, and in the show he said it the best–”I fucked her, I make love to you.” Is there really a difference? I guess that it’s a matter of opinion.
For example, when you’re a swinger or in the alternative lifestyle you don’t make love to everyone you have sexual encounters with right? You’re having no strings attached sex with consensual parties, there really isn’t a feeling of love for this person or persons. You aren’t in love with them, you’re in love with your partner/spouse/significant other.
Then there is also the pre-marital sex angle to think about. Your love your boyfriend or girlfriend, and when you are intimate with each other are you making love or having sex? Anyone can have sex, but can anyone make love? Not a question I have an answer for unfortunately. When I was single, I still had sex with multiple partners, usually long time boyfriends, but I didn’t really consider myself making love to them, just having sex and enjoying ourselves is pretty much what we did. There were also the friends with benefits, we were friends, but we were also sexual with each other, yet still friends. Weird right? I think a lot of people have those perks, not just myself. Those were good times, especially when living the single life, no boyfriends to fulfill sexual needs but some good friends that enjoyed the same thing I did, it was a win-win situation.
After being married for 20+ years, learning to differentiate between love making and having sex is pretty easy. Making love usually involves a lot of romance, or a little depending on how romantic you or your partner is feeling, foreplay, and emotion. Along with this, taking it slow and easy instead of hard and fast usually is what makes the difference between the two acts. On the flip side, having sex is just that, simple, raw, and fun sex. Heck, break out the sex toys too if you’re feeling frisky, don’t hold back.
Again, it just depends on your mood, feelings, etc. There is no right way or wrong way to make love, and as long as everyone is enjoying themselves it makes it all worthwhile. It doesn’t matter if you just want to have sex or take a little longer and make love, either way, fun times will be had by all you can guarantee it.
Written by guest writer: Dawn Mercier
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